So Sorry!!!

I'm so sorry but I can't seem to get a hold of a computer these days!!!

My PC is dead and my e-mac is so old that the connexion is not so good and I hate doing online work on it since it so slow! So here I am at work on a computer in a small room reserved for personnal use but I have only 15 minutes to write this and won't be able to write again for a long while since I'll probably wait until I get a new computer!

So sorry to my followers, small group that you are I still have fun complaining and sharing my thoughts on this blog, I be back but I don't know when. Please be patient and you'll be rewarded!

Stress, stress and more stress!

No really! I'm tired of being stressed out. Stressed out at home, at work. It seems that everything is just more stress for me!

I thought once we had found a house and confirmed our move that I would feel better, but I don't! Don't get me wrong I'm excited about our new house and can't wait to move in, but the move is just more stress. The packing again, 2 moves in less then a year is too much for me and my boy A is feeling the stress too.

Then there is work, I'm not online still but I see the day that I'll have to take calls and I feel sick just thinking about it! The last time I had to take customer calls, was almost 8 years ago and going back to that part of the job is depressing to me!

Then there is the fact that hubby is away for 2 weeks and I can't seem to be able to get a hold on the house work without him there to take care of the kids while I clean or organize the house.

So finally, I am stressed out again!

Promises, promises

I've promised so many things lately but really I know I can't deliver! Like a great post with photos and stuff, but really! I can't even find the time to do the laundry anymore. It just sits there in a pile next to the machine. On one side the clean on the other the dirty. And that's when there is clean clothes!

I've also found myself promise A that we would go to the park after I got home from work, but I need to make dinner, the lunches, clean if I can and well when all that is said and done it's 9PM and time for bed. I've been selfish and spent more time in front of the TV then doing my chores simply because it's the only way to relax and so at 9PM I watch the shows I've recorded on my PVR and go to bed around 11PM. I know I should try do come here more often and write or spend more time with A and Z but I just don't want to... I'm such a bad mother! No really, I am a bad mother because I can't voice my need of help to my husband and so I'm left to do everything on my own and it's my own fault because men don't read minds like we do! Or at least that is what I'm told when I just can't stand it and scream out HELP!!! CAN'T YOU JUST PICK YOUR DAMN STUFF YOURSELF?!?!?!?!? Because I've just spent the last 2 hours running around for the kids and you and I'm just out of steam and can't do one other thing!

On top of my work, my kids, my husband, we are moving in 2 months and our current house is being viewed for new renters, so it has to be immaculate, which it is never has been since, since... well I'm just not that kind of woman! I don't have the cleanest house on the block and I usually don't care, because I don't invite the block in for inspection. And you know that people that visit houses to either buy or rent are going to open the closets and cupboards and find the mess I've tried to hide, so it has to be really clean.

So I've tried to keep calm while all these stressful things are happening to me and my family, but I'm feeling that I'm fitting a losing battle and sooner or later I'll be on meds again and find that I can't face the world for days at a time. So I go one day at a time and try not to think of the changes coming.

Bought a house!

We found the house for us and gave an offer that was accepted. We are only wanting for approval and it's ours. We move in at the beginning of July! Which doesn't give me too long to pack and get the current house cleaned for the new tenants!!! Ah! well what can I do? I'll just ask for help from my family.

We spent a weekend at my parents and it was good for the kids to see them, because Z was so happy to see grand-ma that see didn't need me anymore and A played with the dog outside for the entire day. I'll tell you, there is nothing better to get them to bed and sleep all night then a day in the sun!

I'll be back online later this week and I'll try to have a better post.

One more, at home!

I'm not pregnant! It's just one more Saturday that I've spent alone at home with the kids. Hubby is working again and I'm sick too so it's a hard one!

You see when I'm sick I still have to take care of everyone, get diner on the table and clean the house, as to my husband well when he's sick he takes a day off work to stay alone at home and sleep all day, which I can't do because my company is not very comprehensive about sick days and kids! So here I am in front of the computer once again with Z asleep in my arms and so congested that I can't put her down because she won't be able to breath right and will wake up. A is in front of the TV again (I'm such a bad mother) because I just don't have the energy to play with him and he's had it with coloring and artsy stuff. And since it's raining we can't go to the park so he could let out some steam. But he's been a really good boy with helping with Z today, so he's got some corn chips to go with his movie.

As for me, well I'm just dreaming of my bed right now. And to say that Z has finally slept more then 4 hours in a row and two days in a row!!! But mommy is so sleep deprived that the few hours more of sleep weren't enough to put me right, I think I'll need a full 6 months to get back on track in the sleep department.

My hubby is still sick but you know the sick I'm talking about. He has a small cold that makes him cough a little and he has the sniffles. But he won't use a tissue and so he coughs more because of that. And he has the nerve to complain on top of that! On these occasions I have 3 kids, not 2 and you all know what I'm talking about because I'm positive that your men do the same thing when they're sick. The whining, the mopping around, the complaining about the "hurt" and asking for all the meds we can find and more! I don't even take an aspirin for my headaches because I know that I'm beyond help and he asks for something for a simple cold! Men!

So I'm off to get diner ready and see when my dear husband will be home, so I can take a bath and relax a little!